And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
This promise from Romans 8:28 is what I cling to in the darkest moments of my struggles with infertility. The very idea that all this pain, and fear, and heartache, and disappointment can be woven through the tapestry of God’s plan to produce something good is both reassuring and unfathomable.
It’s a promise that I believe with my head. Afterall, it’s consistent with everything I know about God’s workings through His Word.
It’s a promise that I belive with my heart. I’ve had quiet moments of conversation with the Lord during which I can hear His Holy Spirit whisper and calm my anguished soul.
Sometimes, though, it’s a promise I have difficulty believing in my feet.
When the way is hard, and I stumble on the rocks and the broken glass that the path of infertility is paved with, it’s hard to keep my feet moving forward in faith. Have you ever felt that feeling, when your feet hurt so much that you don’t feel like you can take one more step? Or when the pavement is so hot that you can’t stand anymore with any poise or dignity, so you try desperately to skip across the surface without feeling the pain…and fail? That’s what I mean by the challenge of believing the promise in my feet. It’s the kind of faith that keeps me moving towards maturity in my Christian walk, even when it hurts to go forward, and moving forward even when I feel the burning pain.
But it’s not just moving to keep from stopping. It’s not simple avoidance of the appearance of failure that keeps my feet on this path. It’s knowing that this path leads somewhere, and I need to know where that is, and what God’s promise holds for me. He tells me that it is good, and I want to be there.
He promises that it’s good, but not that it’s easy. It certainly hasn’t felt good to me, but He assures me through His promise that He will make this journey have meaning in His Plan. Even if His plan for me never involves children of my own, I know He gave me the desire to love and to nurture, and that He intends for me to use it to His Glory. He held me in the depths of my suffering and promised me that He would use it to work miracles in His Kingdom. He can do that.
Somehow, through His divine will, the struggles of my infertility will reap a harvest for Him. Perhaps through my speaking, or my writing, or my empathy. Perhaps I won’t know until the end of my days what gave my life meaning in his Plan. But I do know that I have to keep believing in order to reach the end of this journey.
I have to believe in His promises in my head, in my heart, but most importantly, in my feet.

3 comments
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January 11, 2008 at 12:19 pm
screamofcontinuousness
wow. You have a way of putting things sometimes……
ever considered submitting this to the folks at “resolve” ? I think you should.
If you needed someone to tell you, you are being used by God through your keyboard. today. it may not be the same as having the small arms of a child wrapped around your neck, but consider yourself hugged by me.
January 11, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Lori
Yes. So true for so many things in life. And once we finally move forward and we see a little more of the pictue, we usually wonder why we ever hesitated in the first place.
I have been feeling a little low lately. I wonder where my faith is hiding some days, or why I am tucking it away….
We are waiting for things to happen on our journey with a infertility. My husband is actually having surgery next month. (we are one of those lucky couples with both male and female-factor infertility issues) I should be hopeful and excited! A few months ago, I prayed and prayed that we would find an answer and God has brought us to an amazing Dr. who is going to try to help us. Instead of being happy and praising God that there is something ahead for us, I find myself doubting and wondering why we have to go through all of this to get there.
Obviously I am dragging my feet and not believing his promise. He IS directing our path and leading us to something good!
You know, even though there are so many people dealing with infertility, I feel alone a lot of the time. Reading your post today was like going to a little tiny church, just for those of us who know the special ache of infertility. Thank you for sharing. God is using you!
January 16, 2008 at 1:54 pm
iammorethanmyinfertility
As much as you may feel that you are in the depths of despair, it is so apparent that your faith is growing stronger, and is the very thing that is getting you through this tough time. The turth is, if you really want to have a family, you will have one. It may not look or feel the way you originally thought it would, but it may well be greater than anything you can imagine. Good luck to you, and I will keep you in my thoughts.
marina lombardo
http://www.iammmorethanmyinfertility.wordpress.com
http://www.iammore.net