Today I am thinking warm thoughts about some of the mothers I know, either personally, through their blogs, or both. And since a blog centered around infertility might not be the most tactful place to post about motherhood, I posted it on my other blog.
One of the worst parts of the depression that accompanies infertility, in my opinion, is the sense of isolation from other women. This isolation is intense, brutal, and it skews one’s own perception of her place in the world as a woman. At family gatherings I would often find myself on the deck around the grill talking about business or sports with the men in the family because I felt so out of place in the house talking about childbirth, children, and all things mom-related with the women. And in my head I was screaming, “wait, I’m a woman too. I don’t have children, but that doesn’t make me non-woman. I’m not a man…why am I talking at the grill…..”
As a woman, and particularly as a Christian woman, I believe we must find a way around this. Acts 4:32 (NIV) says, “All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.” One in heart and one in mind. But we cannot be the family that we are called to be if we keep existing in an “infertile us” and “fertile them” world.
Today, (despite being home with a bug) I’m happy to be one in heart and one in mind and share in the lives of moms. I enjoy being a woman, and I need be included as a part of the community of women. I hope that, through open communication of our hopes, fears, heartaches, and joys as women, those women who have children will not overlook us, but will welcome us back as sisters.
So, if you’re interested in reading about some special moms and why I appreciate them, feel free to visit the other blog.
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December 19, 2007 at 9:38 am
Gioietta
I am so glad you feel this way! You are most definitely not a non-woman just b/c you can’t join in the chorus about childbirth, motherhood, etc. And from a woman blessed to be mom on earth, I can tell you that I STILL don’t feel like a woman, because I am not inclined to talk about all that stuff either and generally just feels like a misfit. But in a family born of the spirit, we must remember that that which makes us whole and real is Christ alone. And in Christ it doesn’t matter who we are or what we have or have not, we are all one through Christ!
I found this site through Jen’s blessed are the barren.